UX Writing Challenge: Rewrite a Homepage to Get More People to Invest in Your Startup

Disclaimer: This is a mock project. I’m not currently involved with this company whatsoever.

Company: Evolution Devices
Role: UX Writer
Goal: Get more people to invest in the startup

Introduction

Evolution Devices is a startup that’s developing cutting-edge medical devices to provide affordable rehabilitative treatment for patients suffering from mobility impairments.

While I have worked with them in the past as a software engineer, this project is purely practice to improve my UX writing abilities. Anything in regards to their business motives are speculative.

Goals

Evolution Devices believes that everyone should be able to invest in startups, not just venture capitalists. To execute on this philosophy, they partnered with Republic.co to allow professionals and non-professionals alike to invest in their company.

With this in mind, the stakeholders’ main goal is to increase the amount of money invested into the startup.

However, from the way the user flow is structured, users can’t directly invest from Evolution’s website. Here’s what the user flow looks like:

Since I’m constrained solely to the content of Evolution’s website, I can only focus on the first two interactions:

With these constraints, the goal for me is to get as many users to click the “Invest” button so that it increases the chance of them ultimately investing.

Questions to Ponder

For context, here’s what the site currently looks like:

Before I began my microcopy, I asked myself a few questions:

• Are there any obstacles that prevent users from clicking the “Invest” button?
• Does the current copy have any inappropriate or vague language that might dissuade users from answering the call-to-action (CTA)?

These questions will be my guideline in how I approach my microcopy.

What Can Be Improved?

In this part, I analyze a few elements of the copy that I believe could be improved.

Everything in boxed in red is what I think can be improved. Let’s break down why.

The future of fall prevention

To me, this sub-header doesn’t connect to the idea of investing. What stake does the user have in investing in the future of fall prevention? What’s in it for them? It’s neutral and doesn’t evoke a motivation to act.

We have partnered with Republic.co to let anyone who believes in our mission invest and own a piece of our company.

I think this is a bit impersonal. The goal is to speak directly to the user and create a personal connection with them, not some vague audience. Through personal connections can we better persuade the user to answer our CTA.

Click the button below to learn more and invest

We can lump this together with the “Invest in Evolution Devices” button. While users can click the button to learn more, having the button say “Invest” gives the impression that they’re committing to something if they click it. I think by matching the button with the above text, we can ensure them that we’re merely inviting them to learn more. Remember, the goal is to get as many users to click the button.

Strategies and Solution

To improve the elements I discussed above, we can create a more personal connection with the user by addressing them using the word: you.

Using you in our copy allows the user to feel like we’re speaking directly to them as opposed to some generic audience.

Here’s my revised version:

You don’t need to be a professional investor to own a piece of our company

This assures the user that we’re speaking to them, regardless if they’re a professional investor or not. And saying “own a piece of our company” conveys an incentive that says “here’s what’s in it for you”.

At Evolution Devices, we believe that you can help us build a better future… to give you the opportunity to invest in us.

We’re inviting the user on our mission. Even if they’re not the ones working on the technologies or research, their investments still contribute to the sustainability of these ventures.

Click to learn more about our mission and how you can invest

I wanted the text to have a more welcoming tone and doesn’t convey a sense of pressure to act. By switching the button to “Learn More”, we’re assuring the user that they’re not committing to anything from clicking the link. This has a more welcoming connotation as opposed to “Invest in Evolution Devices”.

Conclusion

This exercise was my attempt at revising Evolution Devices’ homepage to increase conversion rates to land more investments. By changing some of the text around to include a more personal voice, we convey more emotion and build a more personal connection with our users.

What I Learned

It’s hard to say if these revisions will improve the conversion rate because of the lack of feedback from users and stakeholders.

The challenge that I faced was finding the balance between remaining concise, providing significant information to the user, and creating an emotional connection with them.

However, I’d say that I was able to apply much of what I learned from my studies in UX Writing by:

• directly addressing the user using you and establishing a personal connection
• removing the pressure for users to invest by inviting them to learn more about the company and ways they can invest

Here’s a before and after:

Before (left) vs. After (right)

If you have any feedback on this project, I welcome you to comment. I’d love to hear how I can improve as a UX Writer! Thank you.